Sunday, 1 December 2002

ever since i started doing the "mirror project" thing, and begun looking out every moment for reflections of myself, either perfect or distorted, in all sorts of random places to add to the growing collection, i realised that i have slowly overcome one of my biggest childhood (and also adulthood) fears.. the fear of actually looking at myself or catching sight of reflections of myself when i least expect it... (yes, indeed, i used to turn away whenever i see reflections of myself in shop windows and still don't particularly like having my picture taken)..

lest you think i have turned narcissistic, let me assure you otherwise.. my close friends will tell you that i am still one of those people who almost "can't be bothered with how i look or what i wear". however, in my quest for self-awareness, i have come to realise that one of the most amazing ways (or rather methods) for self-reflection is this... To look at yourself in a mirror as you ask yourself some deep, personal questions. By this, i don't mean that you take the usual random glance at yourself in a bathroom mirror, only to adjust that straying strand of hair, or to check that your make-up is neat or to say "My, you look good!" (even though that is not a bad thing too.. :p) Instead, the next time you look at yourself in a mirror, look deep within yourself, ask yourself "Who Am I?".. "Who's that looking at me?".."What's this person's story? Dreams?"... And look at those eyes looking back at you and perhaps even answer yourself out loud (but not in a public loo in case you scare the cleaning lady..).... it's really weird but when you are able to look beyond your own appearance, and speak to yourself as a "second person", you will realise that you are actually looking deep within your own soul and discovering some amazing things about yourself and your thoughts.. and perhaps others will be able to look beyond your appearance too to know you more deeply..

if this sounds too much like the sort of thing you read in this book and you simply hate it, sorry... it worked for me... i didn't read the book too 'cos it read like a bunch of hogwash when i flipped through it in Kino, haha... double standards... :p

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