Discovered today that I have a terribly bad memory in terms of Hollywood movie plots and storylines. Sometimes, when I try to figure them out, the result can be rather hilarious. But mostly, I suppose, they are just plain “bizarre”,as my close friends will testify.

Caught LOTR this morning (Don’t worry, no spoilers in this blog entry. Promise.) and this was my conversation with alb shortly before we went in for the 10.45am show.

Me: umm… can’t really remember what happened at the end of the previous episode. I can only remember this guy saying something like “the battle has been won… but the War, with the Dark side, has just Begun!”..

Alb: huh?? That’s Star Wars lah! Yoda! Not LOTR!

Me: huh?.. oh. umm… quite similar hor?.. I remember there was also this grotesque-looking swamp thing that was jumping around destroying things.. what was its name? umm...

Alb: oh no! you’re getting confused! the swamp thing is Gollum.. but he didn’t destroy anything! The destructive, jumping, grotesque creature was from Harry Potter and he is Dobby the house elf!

Me: oh! But.. but.. what about the trolls then?? There were trolls, right? In both shows? Which are the trolls anyway?? There are so many weird looking things there..

Alb: Trolls are the creatures that live under the bridge and eat goats.

Me: Ya.. but they attacked the Hobbits in the first show, right? I remember the guy, Frodo, had to hide behind some pillar and almost got killed! Didn’t that happen to Harry Potter too??

Alb: Ya.. the troll in Harry Potter was the creature in the toilet with the club.

Me: ok.. then which ones are the orcs? And what are ogres?? What ‘s the difference anyway??

Alb: oh no! you’re confused! Orcs are the enemy soldiers in LOTR, controlled by the evil Lord Saudermor. There are no ogres in LOTR. Remember Shrek? He’s an ogre lor..

Me: huh? Oh, the one with the pointed, antennae ears? But there are dragons in both shows, eh? I remember Gandalf battled a dragon at the end of the first show and got killed. And Shrek had a dragon attacking them too.. and even Harry Potter!

Alb: aiyoh! The thing in LOTR is not really a dragon. It is called a Balrog (supposed to be the devil), made of shadow and flames. The creature that attacked Harry Potter is a Basilisk, more like a snake. The only dragon was in Shrek.

Me: oh dear! Why are all these shows so similar?? Like.. like.. did you see that all this types of shows have a wise old man guiding a young, brave warrior, like in Harry Potter, there was this professor, called.. err…

Alb: Dumbledor.

Me: Ya! And in the LOTR, there is Gandalf! And the bad guy in these shows is always dressed in black, with a cloak, riding a black horse, like.. Ringwraith in LOTR, and err.. the Headless Horseman in…err…

Alb: Sleepy Hollow…sigh…

Me: uh huh! And … this guy controlling this huge lion in this other show.. can’t remember the name, which was traumatizing the villagers??

Alb: oh no! that’s Brotherhood of the Wolves!! You’re getting all the characters mixed up!

Me: even Darth Maul wears a black cloak!!

Alb: But you have to remember by the storyline rather than just the characters or creatures in the show!

Me: but.. but… the characters in each show are so “ripped off” from each other!! Even the battle scenes look remarkably alike! I remember there was another show where the army in this massive battle also uses long spears, like in LOTR!

Alb: huh?? Aiyoh, that’s Braveheart!

Me: huh?? really?? from so long ago??

Alb: sigh…

Me: sigh.. (slightly embarrassed.. but definitely more confused than ever)