Thursday, 11 March 2004

handling stray thoughts

going through one of my most traumatic and stressful period of Unconscious Incompetence in my living memory.... this is bad.. really bad... my head's already chock-full of self-doubt, fear and anxiety and then my mom just added to it by saying something totally tactless.. but something that struck to the core of my fears and stress.. .. i guess it was a totally innocent question on her part, off the top of her head but that sent me free-spinning into a total mental rollercoaster.... pms? umm.. i don't know.....

i'm blasting music through my earphones to try and drown out my thoughts... i'm tapping my fingers to help in the distraction.... i'm watching my fingers moving to add to the sensory overload... i'm twirling my mouse cursor on the computer screen so i can have other things to look at while i watch the computer screen... maybe i should drink raw lemon juice... or stab myself in the arm with a pencil or something...

oh damn! I'm so stressed!!!! :,(

i need to retreat to a natural sanctuary.... urggh!!!!!

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