life @ a crossroad

yesterday, i bid Creative Hands farewell, bringing to an end a fulfilling three years of working in the most (at least that's what we tried to create) service-oriented art supplies retail shop in Singapore. As i recall, it was a period of time filled with much laughter, joy, wonderful co-workers, imagination, crazy ideas, meeting really interesting and artistic people, grand visions, and all the things that make a job worthwhile (putting pay aside :p).. much as we tried, the double whammy effect of SARS and the Iraq war had taken a serious toll on the business and it was no longer possible to keep me there without the business bleeding...

all at once, the universe of possible futures opened before my eyes like lilies in a pond. Thrown out of my comfort zone, i felt like i had just rolled out of a snug-fitting hammock in the middle of a nap. i froze for a moment, wondering what next.. after all, sometimes, the infinite possibilities in our lives, for what they're worth, fail to motivate, and instead terrify and confuse us, so much so that we may even deny them, reject them, and wish that our lives were simply dictated by others, just so we didn't have to max on our stress thresholds....

yet, as real as it was, i also felt a strange and inexplicable feeling of freedom and excitement. For the first time in my life, i don't know what the future holds for me. while frightening in some ways, I am now free to dream. free to fantasize. free to consider all of the crazy ideas and plans that were but part of my imagination before this. i realised that this could be a critical turning point in my life, or nothing at all...

maybe losing the job is the best thing that can happen to me now.. and it is really up to me how things are to turn out.. wow.. what a challenge.. this could be fun.. :)