Monday, 18 July 2005

strong emotions

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it just occurred to me a moment ago...

(actually the "enlightenment" was inspired by my mum yelling at me as i walked through the door cos she was upset i couldn't make it home for dinner (yet again) due to one of my growing list of commitments..)

i realised that... if there is something (some human behaviour or whatever) that upsets or annoys us greatly and we don't figure out how to deal with it soon enough, it is probably going to irritate and frustrate us for the rest of our lives.. ALL THE REST OF OUR LIVES.... 30, 40, 50 years.... unceasingly... unabated...

in truth, i realised my mum grumbles at me in (almost) the VERY SAME WAY she has done ALL THESE YEARS!!

these things will never go away... until we figure out how to make them irritate us less.. or be less angry with them... they will pop up suddenly, rear their ugly heads in our most unexpected moments, when we are weak and vunerable... tired... dejected... feeling lousy...

for some reason, i think my mum has always managed to find something to yell at me about, all these years, even though many things have obviously changed... does yelling actually make her feel good?? ummm.... i doubt it.. so...?

anyway, i think negative emotions are like the "demons" in our lives that a friend of mine used to describe.. apparently, in the monasteries of Tibet, monks hide little knives or ritual daggers (known as 'phurpa') in their sleeves to slay these demons so they are assured of a better life after rebirth..

we need a better life NOW!!

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